HBGamergirl just left my house. She was very upset. We had just gone to grab dinner and we got into some conversation. She just can’t understand how I want to see other women. Not that we are serious or anything but she would clearly like it that way. So at dinner I told her it would be in her best interest to never talk to me again. I told her she was going to end up getting hurt. So why in the world would I do this? Well I actually kind of liked this girl even know she was pretty weird. I didn’t like her in the way that I wanted to start anything serious with her. I liked her enough though that she is the first person who has actually met my friends. I have not introduced any other girl to any of my friends. She met almost every single one of them and spent a few hours with my best friend and his girl. So on that level she was definitely cool enough to hang with them and be introduced.

I knew I should have LJBFed this girl. From the beginning I knew she was a cool girl and I should just hang with her on a different level. I think before I amped it up this was a possibility. I have never actually just had a girl who was my friend. Things always escalated to another level. Even the first night we met this happened but I think I could have turned it around.

My honesty with these girls might be just a little over the top. What sealed the deal for her was when I told her she never had a chance with me. I mean maybe here I should have told her hey I can’t tell the future. But if I know deep down that there is like 1% chance of that happening shouldn’t I stick with my plan of brutal honesty?

So I’m sitting here and I am actually pretty upset. This is the first time I have felt any emotions like this over some girl I met. We had plans to go shopping and probably a movie tomorrow. She is just super cool to hang around with even if we are not sleeping together.

Now I have to figure out if I just go ahead and do the right thing and let her go. Or go ahead and try to start it up again with her in the near future. This girl was so into me it was just crazy. She would tell me how all she does is sit there and talk about me to her friends. All the crazy shit I would tell her she would repeat to her friend who would just sit there in awe.

I hope I do the right thing and sit idly on this one and not initiate conversation with her again. She said she was going to delete my number from her phone. I think in the end that is probably the best thing that can happen. I really don’t want to hurt these girls. A clean break early on is probably the best thing.

Just to play devil’s advocate I want to mention the other side of my brain on this subject. What if hanging out with me is the best thing for this girl. I mean I am not like anyone she has ever dated. Maybe getting a taste of what she clearly likes so much is good for her. I mean if I can rub some stuff off on her then the next douche bag who comes along and would really screw her over she can avoid. I don’t know I really need to sit down and figure out how to move forward with these girls in the future. I need to figure out what I really think is best for them. Or do I just need to figure out what is best for me?

I guess it is human nature to want some form of companionship. I know that is what I was seeking from her. I wasn’t just in it for the sex with her. She was a good time to go out with and do mundane stuff that you would do with your girlfriend. I choose that kind of stuff over going out to the bars any day of the week.

Just another mystery I will need to figure out on my way to my goals with this stuff.