I don’t know what it is lately. Maybe a combination of working insane hours 7 days a week, and the fact that my ex is in my life but I have not thrown much game out lately. I will go out now and really just want to chill with the boys and have no intention of trying to scam on girls. I think subconsciously I am not wanting to game because I am ok with getting back with my ex.

The truth is I could give all this up tomorrow and run off to Vegas and get married to her and lead an amazing life. Isn’t that the entire point of all this? To find the perfect or near perfect girl and settle down. I know for me that is what it is ultimately about.

I’m sort of at a crossroads right now. I can roll the dice and string her along for as long as possible while still going out and living this crazy lifestyle. Or I can just wash it all away and settle down with her. If I do take the chance of stringing her along until I want to settle down with her I run the risk that she will get sick of it and leave. There is a high probability that if this happens I will have huge regrets. She is probably the perfect girl for me.

I guess that is the beauty of life. You are constantly having to face hard decisions like these. You may or may not choose the correct option. Maybe there isn’t a correct option. I can tell you this though. Each option has an outcome. So no matter which one you choose life goes on. Good or bad it is up to you.

So what has been going on lately. You would think not much since I haven’t posted in a while. The truth is I have been so busy with everything the thought of even writing anything has never arrived. In fact my brain is a little over loaded right now. I move into my house in less than 2 days and it is only about 85-90% done. It is liveable but missing many of the finishing touches. This house is driving me nuts and I have to attend to all the other projects while trying to wrap this one up. Just not enough time in the day. I have put in many 12-15 hour days in the past few weeks. I am insanely exhausted and popping red bulls like crazy.

I have been going out on the weekends but have pretty much cut out all the week days. I have been overly passive in regards to trying to meet women, and pursuing the ones that I have met. I can tell it is one of my bigger flaws. I will get a girls number and then either not even call her, or barely ever even make contact with her. I have been invited out numerous times by some of my latest number closes and just blow the girls off. It is highly stupid because if a girl invites you out there is a high probability if you play your cards right or even decent you will probably get laid that night.

I have been passive all my life in regards to girls and even friends. I don’t know if it is because I am so busy lately but it seems like I am more passive now than I have ever been. It is one thing that I was trying to work on the past six months and I have really gone down hill lately. I have also blown off every single FB. It is nuts. I will get calls and just completely ignore the girls. I highly recommend you not do this if you want to keep them around. I mean you don’t always have to be available, but every once in a while you should. Now sure most if not all of them are still salvageable but why make things hard on yourself.

Another thing I have noticed myself doing is being INSANELY picky in who I am even willing to talk to. I mean my standards are so freaking high right now it is just ridiculous. I need to get over this quick. Not that I want to shag some nasty or anything but I have noticed that when you are friendly with even the not so good looking girls your nights are usually a little better. I don’t know if it’s because other girls see you, or if it just gets you into the right mindset. Lately though if the girl is not an 8 she doesn’t even get a glance. For those of you who know me my 8 is a pretty smoking hot girl with a rocking body. I don’t give it out lightly.

The last thing I want to mention here is getting blown out. I went up to Finn tonight just to chill with some friends. I had no intention of running any game as for one I brought a girl with me and two I had intended on leaving early so I could come home and get work done. I did end up closing the place down and chilling with the boys. While I was talking to a friend I was sitting on the edge of a chair with my legs spread wide in front. My right foot was sorta in the path of where people where walking by. Not on purpose or anything I was just chatting away. My body language was probably pretty damn good. I was just chilling relaxing. Anyways one of my favorite openers is just fucking with the girls if they run/bump into you. Well not once but twice girls stepped on my foot and I instantly called them out on it and it opened like a charm both times. Instant kino and attention right away. I mean these girls were just flat out loving it. At one point my friend is just like umm change places with me geeze.

Anyways back to being blown out. Keep in mind both of these happened at different times. So I am getting tons of kino from this sexy little blonde. I would almost give her an 8 rating. She is digging the convo when I tell her how adorable she is and that I am adopting her as my little sister. She gets insanely pissed and storms off. I don’t know if I hit a cord with her or something but I think it was that she was attracted to me and thought I was blowing her off by that comment. The second girl opened the same way except I actually did it to her friend, but this girl starts going nuts over it and kinoing the shit outta me. Fine with me because she was the hot one with just a flat out amazing body. Things were going very well when I go to her hey let’s go walk around and find you a guy. When I said those words she gets pissed and leaves.

Let me give you the conversation recap so you can know exactly how things progressed. At some point I notice she is wearing a long chain with a heart at the bottom. I grab the necklace and pull her towards me. As I am examining it I noticed it is broken. It is one of those hearts that have a clasp and you can open it. You put a picture of someone inside, a significant other or just a loved one. Anyways so she has lost one side of it. I tell her how she could put my picture inside but I have no interest in relationships so no deal. She instantly goes me too I have no interest in them either. Bingo! Those are magic words. Anyways so right then I tell her how we need to go find her a guy. I do this to disqualify myself. It usually works like a charm and with a hottie like this it is a good idea to do since you know she gets hit on all the time.

So both times I am just sitting there thinking WTF just happened. Those two lines have never once blown me out. In fact they have always built attraction up for me. I use both of those lines all the time and never had this problem. I am still baffled while writing this. Why have they worked so well in the past but they blew me out tonight. The truth is they were probably mini blow outs. Meaning even though the girls stormed off I probably could have found them again and started the convo up.

It is amazing no matter how much success you have, no matter how much you learn things still and always will baffle you. No two girls are the same and no matter how the interaction is going one little misstep can blow you out. Ahhhhhh no matter how much I hate this game you gotta love it. You can get really good, hell you can become a master at this but you will never close every girl. The smallest things will blow your mind. All you can do is learn from it and know that this will and does happen.

For the most part life is an uphill battle. It is a constant struggle so get used to it. Remember back when you were a little kid and everything was so easy? You didn’t have a care in the world. It would be so nice to revert back to that but it just isn’t going to happen. With that being said saddle up and get ready.

It is so easy to get down and depressed over your life. I mean one little thing could upset your mental state and send you into a mini depression. But what happens if everything seems to be going against you and you go into an actual full blown depression. This is when you really need to take a look in the mirror and give yourself a nice big slap in the face. No one is going to pull you up. You are the only one who can help you out. I know it fucking sucks ass. I know it’s hard. The easiest thing you can do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Wouldn’t you rather use that same energy and bust your ass making your life amazing?

The truth is most people don’t. Most people live in a state of mediocrity.

Will you ever be an amazing person? Will you ever do something tremendous? I have been thinking about this for the past couple days. Think about how so many people just live mundane boring lives. It is probably something like 99.9% of the population. Now sure that is what society needs in order to work. But don’t you want to be a part of that .01%. Just think how amazing your life would be.

Getting to that point is the tricky part. I guess you could become famous, or rich, but isn’t there another way to achieve this? There has to be. So maybe what it comes down to is having an amazing life in your perceptual realm of possibilities. WTF Did he just say??? What I mean is you have basically been given a certain life choice. You can always go above and beyond your current options but if you are at the top of whats possible isn’t that just as good as being famous? You are famous in your realm.

I don’t know the road map to get you to this point. If I did I myself would be there basking in the glory. If it was so easy to achieve everyone would have it. I do know you must have an insane drive, or want. I think everyone wants it but only those who are willing to sacrifice will ever achieve it. That is why only a small percentage ever will.

Are you in the .01%?

Probably the strangest thing I have seen in the community is related to peacocking. What I don’t understand is all the guys that I would consider decent looking are the ones who peacock. They are the ones who really need it least. Then I will see all of the guys who really need it and they don’t do it. I mean nothing not an ounce of peacocking. That just blows my mind. I remember someone telling me that the guys who peacock are the ones who are confident enough to pull it off. That really made me think and realize that he was absolutely correct in that assessment. Here is the thing though. You remember the whole fake it till you make it quote. This is where that comes into play. Just fake that you are the most badass person in the world and start peacocking. Start getting out of your comfort zone. I know it will be really weird at first. But when that hottie approaches you for a change this little light bulb will go off in your head. You will realize whoah I didn’t have to approach. What am I ever going to do.

Now I am not saying this is the magic pill. I am not even going to tell you that you will get approached. Hell I do some odd things on occasion and still don’t get approached. But what will happen is the girl will notice the necklace, or the ring, or the belt, or the shoes, or whatever. So when you are in conversation with her she will bring these up. Girls are so perceptive. I mean when was the last time you noticed some girls earrings? I honestly can’t tell you the last time they even crossed my mind. But a girl…a girl notices every little thing about you. You didn’t clip your nails? And what is this they are kinda long and disgusting looking and have dirt under them…You might as well just go back home for the evening.

Don’t forget the little things when it comes to PU. Little things add up to huge things. She puts all these little things together and completes the puzzle of you. Change your style…give it a try…see what happens…

It might just be your lucky night.

Of all people I thought she could handle it. She used to be so cool about this sort of thing. I remember when we were going out early in our relationship and she was just like I don’t care if you are sleeping with other people. We aren’t going out so why should I care. Or the time she went out of town for a week and was alright with the idea of me sleeping with another girl. Or all the times we would talk about having a threesome and she was so open to the idea.

Now things are different though. She just can’t handle the fact that I am sleeping with other girls. She just left my house balling her eyes out. I wish I could just lie to her and tell her I will stop living this lifestyle. It is a flaw I have. I know this entire harem I have going on right now will blow up in my face. I felt for a while that HBgamergirl was going to take off but she still hasn’t. I hear all the time from her that she can’t stand it but she sticks around. She is going to be so happy when she hears the Ex has left. Who cares though. All I care about is the Ex. None of these other girls mean anything to me.

A huge part of me wants to just stop this lifestyle and get back with the Ex. I am still in love with her. I was over her but when we started talking again the feelings erupted all over. I know if I stop this lifestyle I will crave it. I want to be to the point where I hate this lifestyle and just want one girl. There is a good chance I am making the hugest mistake of my life right now. I should call her up and just get back together with her. This might end up being the biggest regret of my life. What will I regret more? Losing her forever? Or looking back on my life and wishing I had continued this lifestyle. I would wager it is losing her.

Whoah Whoah Whoah Hold the presses. So as I am writing this up she gives me a call. We start to talk and everything is going great all the sudden. The conversation ends after a while and she is all the sudden back to being ok. In fact not only are things ok I have talked her into stopping by in the morning and having some fun. Wow it is amazing how girls flip flop their emotions so quick. Do you ever wonder why so many people recommend taking a girl on an emotional roller coaster ride when you are gaming them? This is a perfect example right here. Think how well it would work if you did this to a girl you just met.

So her newest rule is that she will hang out with me once a week but no sex. Hrmm she has said no sex constantly over the last few weeks but keeps giving in. In fact not only does she give in she is usually the one jumping me. I love her sex drive. I hope she at least sticks with the once a week. I don’t want her out of my life completely. If that was the case I would have rather us never started talking again. It would be much easier to handle.