I want to meet a badass high quality girl who I can date and ACTUALLY get to know.

I want two Alaskan Huskies.

I want to someday get married to said high quality girl.

I fear my future wife will get fat and nasty and I will despise her.

I fear I will never get married.

I fear I will have to pay some surrogate mother to have my child so I can pass on my DNA.

I want to get the fuck out of dodge and travel around the country for a month.

I want to take a boat to the Bahamas from Miami.

I want to go see the Weeping Willows in Georgia.

I fear I will just let work get in my way and never take a badass road trip around the country.

I fear if I keep fucking all these dirty little tramps I will get some disease.

I fear I will get some disease like cancer anyways.

I want to get over my fear of flying so I can go to some badass resorts and travel the world.

I want to meet a PUA who is really good. I have never seen one as of yet.

I want to get really good at fighting so when some douche bag gets in my face I can tell him to take his best shot and know I will destroy him.

I fear that I am over my ex.

I fear that I will never find anyone as good as she is.

I fear my demeanor is bad right now and I am shunning people unintentionally, coming off as a cocky bastard who thinks he is two levels above everyone else.

I want to meet some cool girls and just turn them into my friends.

I want to quit being so passive in regards to women and start using all these numbers I get.

I want to break down the social dynamics of any room I enter within seconds.

I want to meet a girl during the day outside of the bar scene.

I want to see if a girl I meet during the day is different then all these little whores I meet at night.

I want to not think so lowly of all these little bar fly whores.

I want to learn how to be a badass cook.

I want to use those cooking skills and have my entire family over for dinner once a month.

I want to put enough coin in the bank so I can just sit around and never worry about money again.

I want to write a book that turns into a screenplay that turns into a movie.

I want to fund my two niece’s college funds so they never have to worry about paying of school.

And what I really fear is that I will never do some of the stuff that I really want to do.

Have you ever wondered how it can be so fragile, yet so insanely powerful. I am talking about your state of mind. The smallest thing can set you off into a downward spiral. I can see why so many people in this country are depressed.

My state of mind is so strong when I am having great success with women. The second things go just a little south so does the way I feel. It is absolutely ridiculous that I let little things bother me so much. You would think that you could take emotions out of the equation hahha what a crazy statement. But what I mean is I am referring to taking emotions out of the equation when it comes to women who mean nothing to you.

I guess any girl you want to take out or whatever has some level of value to you. So whenever she doesn’t act in a manner that you find acceptable this bothers you. How the fuck can some girl you barely know have any control over the way you feel. This is the very reason I love having an arsenal of women you are sleeping with. Because anytime some girl turns you down you just go to one on your team and forget all about the others.

I unfortunately don’t have the luxury of that right now. I am starting over again from scratch and don’t have any girls like I used to. Therefore I guess the value I place on any random girl right now is just a little higher than normal.

I do however love this life. I love how you your mood can change so rapidly. How you can be pissed off for whatever reason and then it can change back to being happy at the drop of a hat. I am sitting here just reading my blog and forgetting about women for the moment. Man re-reading what I have written in the past is very helpful. I can’t believe more guys don’t write down their experiences. For example I picked up some tips just from reading my own shit. That is hilarious. I have added a few more lays and once again I didn’t kiss any of them in the bar the night I met them. Now I am about 95% set on no more make outs in bars. It just isn’t worth it. I will however tease the girl if I think a kiss is imminent. I will just go in like I am going to kiss her and just hover. Girls love that and go nuts over it.

Wow!!

So I basically just kicked two girls to the curb a few minutes ago. These are what I would consider 8+ girls…most guys in the community from what I have seen would consider them tens.

One is just too damn expecting for me. I have dated some girls this year that I would consider higher quality. When we go out they have no problem with me paying however they also pay it back. The next time we go out or the next venue they pay. It is basically a 50/50 deal which I just find super attractive.

What I don’t find attractive is when the little princess expects you to pay for every little thing in the world. Which is hilarious because if she wasn’t so expecting I would actually be ok with paying. Especially if she didn’t have a good income and I knew she couldn’t afford it.

So I was laying in this girls bed and man she just pissed me off. I was like yeah I am getting dressed and leaving. She walks me to her door and says bye playercool and I just walk past her like she didn’t exist. It was actually kinda funny now that I look back.

So I send her a text a little while later and she responds actually jumping through one of my hoops I set up earlier. Who knows where it will go…I don’t give two shits.

The next girl I actually sorta wanted to take out(SNL Saturday Girl). But I said some harsh shit to her the other night over text and she got pissed. So I just sent her a text that I deleted her number. Bam she responds immediately. All the sudden she is open to going out blah blah…

I will say super hot girls are much tougher customers. They can definitely be more picky. They have options. If you fuck up big deal they can get a billion guys tomorrow.

Alright that is my vent. I know that might be a harsh generalization on the super hot girl community…but probably not!

The human body will never cease to amaze me. I was just about to pass out at about 11:30. I was flipping through the channels trying to find something to fall asleep to. I land on a movie called Any Given Sunday. It was close to the end when Al Pacino starts giving a speech to his team. His speech was talking about going that extra inch. Man for whatever reason this inspired me. I went from barely keeping my eyes open to writing this very post at 3:16 AM. I have been writing and reading ever since that speech. I am wide awake.

I guess I will go ahead and write about my SNL from Saturday night before I let it go too long and forget about the details.

We head out to uptown this night. We all meet up at Republic and it is pretty dead. I open one hottie and I know she is into me. She actually ejects and goes back to her friends however she keeps looking over at me. I kick myself for not going back over to her and getting her number before I leave. Ohh well just another regret. I guess there is about 8 of us now and I am wanting to go check out a place called Lift. I have heard good things about it. We finally make it over there and I must say the place blows goats. I see nothing good about this place. Loud, smokey, way too dark, too many bottle service tables, etc. I will be happy never coming back here.

So we decide to bounce and head over to Social House. This is my new favorite place. I have now been here a few times and pretty much have liked it and had success every time. Tonight however is different. I don’t know what is going on but all the sudden around 1 am I am ready to leave. I start complaining to myself and some of my friends which is just gay of me. I decide I need to walk upstairs and see if I like it better up there. As I am walking by I just all the sudden see this girl. A tall blonde that is super cute. She doesn’t give me an approach invitation and she is with a group of at least 5 but that doesn’t stop me. I just walk right up to her and open her with: What are all these people doing here? Yeah it is actually probably a cheesy pick up line but man I love it so much. She responds with I guess we invited them all. I then go: I thought it was supposed to me just you and I this evening.

AND BEGIN!!! I think she fell in love right there hahahha. It’s too fucking powerful. Let’s just say within the next few seconds I felt like a SNL was about 85% possible. Yes after under 1 minute of conversation it felt like it would happen. That is probably why I took her over to the bar and bought her a shot. I have never bought a random girl a shot in ohhh at least the past 9 months. Never one time in my tenure with the community. Probably not even before then but that is besides the point.

After a while I know things are going well. I have already number closed her. I decide to eject and go find my friends. I head over to them and they are like well done blah blah. I tell them that ohh wait it’s not over yet. I will be reopening her at 1:50 and try to extract. Well I didn’t need to wait until them because guess what yep she came and found me. Things were going very well. The conversation was easy and the attraction was over the top. Just after closing time I told her to bite my neck. Just as she was going in the bouncer flashed the light on us. Thanks buddy that might have helped me.

We head upstairs and outside. As we are outside her cock block friend comes up to me and starts hounding me. I love drunken me. I am so fun. I pick this chick up and start bouncing her around. She loves it and loves me. She gives her approval and hops in a cab. Hahha my girl was her ride home. Wow how awesome that she bowed out like that so we could be alone.

Me and my girl finally start making out. Things are destined to end up at my place or hers. Not much can get in our way ohhh wait another friend. Awesome. Her tall blonde friend doesn’t want the night to be over. In fact she was across the street talking to some dudes. She ran into a friend she knew from school who was wanting her to come over. I am trying to figure this shit out and actually say hey how about all 4 of us go to this guys house. See I thought that was my only option at that point. I didn’t think the girls could be broken up. Long story short my girl pulls the girl away from the other guy and we take her to her car.

At this point we are in my girls car and I am saying hey let’s just go to your house I will crash on your couch. She doesn’t want to do that so I say fine well you are my ride so take me home to North Dallas. She agrees and we start heading up. I let her know that we won’t be having sex but we can hold hands and read poetry.

We get to my house and I say alright cya later and get out of the car. I let her know she should come inside though and take a look around. She agrees and we head inside. We make a couple crown and sprites and head out to the pool. I go turn the hot tub on and say let’s get in. She doesn’t want to. If I would have gotten naked and jumped in I have a feeling she would have as well. So instead we head back inside and somehow end up on my bed. We are laying there making out blah blah. She is throwing up retarded LMR. I finally tell her to blow me and she does. She is very good. I flip her over and pull her panties off. She doesn’t resist at all and well you know.

Eventually she leaves and we head out to her car. She is parked in front of my house in the circle drive. She is sitting in her seat and I am facing her. I move her panties to the side and start fucking her again while slightly choking her. She calls me a freak and says she likes that.

She texts me when she gets home saying all sorts of shit.

Then she goes: I absolutely loved your opening line!

I have used the line twice. Both have been successful closes.

Do you think I will use it again?

I have so much to write about and yet what lingers most is her. The thought of which I cannot escape. My journey is quickly coming to an end. It is close. I have almost reached the pinnacle of this game. When I get there I hope she is waiting. If she isn’t I will have no one to blame but myself. I must continue this path though for if I don’t something worse will linger. The thought of what if.

I still on occasion will question this path. What is the point. It is simple really. The point is to master what I started. Most people in life never follow through. We are all guilty of it whether big or small. I still have a few goals that I would like to achieve. Knowing I have not hit the top would bother me in years to come. I can’t reach it with her so I must do it alone. I must be without the girl I am in love with until I finish.

I do believe she is the one. I have met so many girls this year and none of them measure up. I mean not even close. Her look, her smile, her eyes, her kiss, her attitude, her goals, her values, her everything. She is everything I could imagine I would want in a wife. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about what we would have together. Someday I will show up at her house and drop a book off. It will be the book of this journey I am on. Some of the things inside will be hard for her to read but it will be needed. It will be what she will need to understand where I am at. Where I have been. And where I must go in order to find my way back to her.

I relish the thought of this day. I can’t wait. I actually yearn for it. I want this life to be over and the life I am meant to live to arrive. I hope it is a short distance from this current existence. While I have had so much fun on this path I am ready for a change. I am ready for what I am supposed to do. Be with her!