I sometimes forget to remind myself to do this but it is Ohhh Sooo Important. When you are introduced or introduce yourself to a girl squeeze the shit out of her hand. Not so much that it will really hurt her or anything. But just enough that she mentions it for one. And for two so she doesn’t think you are a homo. Nowadays girls are squeezing my hand harder and harder. I don’t know if this is because they want to prove something to the guy with the hawk. Or if it is just that day of age when girls are much more independent and shake hands like a guy.

Common courtesy dictates that you squeeze as hard as the person you are shaking hands with. It should be a medium amount of pressure not so much that you cause any harm to your shaking counterpart. We have all met those guys who must squeeze the shit out of your hand to prove they are dominant. If anything they are the actual homos out there. An Alpha Male would never have to prove dominance with an overpowering handshake.

Back to the point at hand. I can’t tell you how many times I have squeezed a girls hand very hard only to hear her say something. Bam instant conversation off into la la land that is away from the boring mundane conversation topics. This usually creates a good time with the girl. Now I have been guilty especially lately of not taking my own advice. That is what has brought this to my attention and I felt worthy of being dictated. Last night I shook a lot of hands. And a shit load of the girls were applying an extra amount of force to my hand during the shake. Of course I negged them on it but it was actually a DLV to me I believe. I think they do it on purpose to see who is weak and who is strong. It is their instant off the bat measure of a man.

Why give them anything negative to use against you when they are measuring you up.

I wish the title of this entry meant that I was done with Game and moving on with an Amazing Girl. Unfortunately it is probably the end of a chapter in my life. One that has lasted about 1/8th of my life and a huge percentage of what I would call my adult life. It is the relationship with my ex that has lasted the culmination of the last four years. The first three we were together and inseparable. The last year consisted of on again off again type of relationship.

Our last couple months we had decided to get back together and date with certain rules in place. We both had an interest of seeing other people so this was allowed. We could date someone else but the dating could not progress to sex. I was at a point in my life that I was sort of done with game for a while so I agreed to this. The problem is in my head I never committed to the idea of not having sex with another girl. It was pretty fucking shitty of me to agree to this and lead her on. I believe in Karma so I wouldn’t be surprised if it bit me in the ass. The second problem with this is lately girls are just falling into my lap. It just seems that ever since I got this Mohawk I have been pulling the hottest girls of my life. And the quantity is right up there with the start of the year. The only difference is all these girls are pretty smoking hot.

I knew this conversation was going to take place. I had been thinking how I was going to handle it and knew I must act quickly if it was going to happen on my terms. Then out of the blue not under my own terms my phone rings. I have two options here. I can just send it to voicemail and handle it later. Or I can go ahead and face it head on and handle it right then. In my life I have learned many things. One thing is to just tackle stuff head on. The longer you let it linger the more you think about it and it just messes stuff up. Your head gets wrapped about it and you can’t focus on anything else.

Ring Ring…

PC: Hello
EX: So are you ignoring me?
PC: Nope

At this point I am just letting silence creep in. I want her to lead the conversation.

Silence

EX: So I just have one question to ask you.
PC: Alright
EX: Are you seeing someone else?

I pause here and think about how to handle this. Then I just know I need to be honest about this. It sucks because honesty brings about hurt feelings. Right here I know just how bad I am about to hurt someone I care greatly for.

PC: Yes
EX: That is what I thought.
EX: Have you slept with her?

Once again I go silent for about 10 seconds. A see-saw is going off in my head of yes or no. Fuck! I have to be honest. I have lived this entire year just being straight up with every girl no matter what the consequence.

PC: Yes

I won’t talk anymore about what was said after that answer.

When I was younger I had a girlfriend for like 5 years. I mean the relationship lasted forever. In fact I went out with her for my entire college career (What a Waste). I had such a hard time leaving this girl but in the end I realized something. I realized that by me stringing things along I was hurting her. So one day I set her free. I knew for a fact I had no interest in marrying her so while she was young I would send her on her way.

Right now I am going through something very similar. There is one thing slightly (Hugely) different. The EX now I think I could marry someday. In fact I think this so much that I could seriously be making the biggest mistake of my life right now. I just can’t find it in myself to settle down though. And if I am not 100% set on the idea of settling down I can’t do it. So once again I am letting her go. Yes she is mad as hell and doesn’t want anything to do with me but that will pass. If I wanted her back in a week or so I could probably have her. But I am not going to do that. I need to be the one chasing her. I need to be the one that can’t live without her. And until that time comes (If it ever does) I will do everything in my power to get her back.

It is amazing I am writing this right now. If I had her in my lap a year ago I would have been so happy. I have had the opportunity to have her back so many times this year and I chose no. I am going to keep her at a distance for a while and see what my thoughts are like. Who knows I might have cravings and realize I fucked up. If that is the case then I will hope and pray that she is still single and gives me another chance. It would seem she has given me so many chances and I squander them.

Only time will tell and that is how this will work out. Time will pass and either my feelings will grow stronger or weaker.

I don’t know the future I can only act in the present.

The night begins.
Gulp Gulp
My brain is fresh.
Gulp Gulp
I can see you standing there.
Gulp Gulp
I can hear your voice.
Gulp Gulp
I am listening.
Gulp Gulp
I am getting tipsy.
One more drink
Things are slowing.
One more down
You are becoming less important to me.
And one more
Tipsiness is turning into drunkenness.
A sip here and a sip there
I no longer have an attention span.
You are now ignored.
I am in my own little world.

Damnit I wrote this up and my computer froze so I have to write it again. Of course things are never written the same way twice but here goes…

I normally don’t write FR’s but this one is rather humorous. Not for me mind you but you guys will probably get a kick out of it.

Hot Girl: Yep
Solid Ass: Yep
No seriously her ass was a 10: Yep
Solid Body: Yep
No seriously it was overall badass: Yep
Naked hottie all over me: Yep
Hottie’s mouth all over my dick: Yep

Flaccid Penis: Yep

It’s 2:00 AM Saturday night and like usual at this time I am my drunken self. We all stumble out front of Quarter Bar and make plans to go eat at Cafe Brazil. But wait what is this. Ohh two hotties one blonde and one brunette are over there sitting on the rail. It is my civic duty to go say hello. I walk up and open the two girls but quickly only talk with the blonde. As I am doing this I look over and realize just how hot the brunette was(Later find out she was married so I did good talking with the blonde). I kick myself a little. The blonde is witty and I think for a second she is blowing me out. I quickly reassure myself that I am badass and move forward. A few seconds later I am telling her that I will be taking her to Gloria’s for Margaritas and she says well I do like Gloria’s. I number close and eject to breakfast.

The next morning I use my new favorite Sunday text opener.

PC: How is that hangover treating you?

I use this on my Saturday night number closes these days. I have used it about 10 times and it has had a 100% success rate so far.

Now I know you are thinking but wait isn’t there a rule on waiting a certain time before you text or call? Yeah I used to think the same thing. I had heard you should wait until Monday or Tuesday. FUCK THAT GAY ASS RULE! Here is the rule. You text or call when YOU WANT to.

So she is instantly receptive of my text and all future texts. I tell her I will be taking her out Monday night and she readily agrees.

Monday night rolls around and she heads over to my house. At first she wanted to meet at Finn but I called her shy and she said she would meet at my place. I did this so logistics would work in my favor. Plus I wanted her car at my place so if things went well she could take me back to Finn in the morning to snag my car if we had to take a cab home.

We get to Finn grab a seat at the bar and order drinks. Drink one down. Drink two down. PicturePerfect and his girl show up and we all do shots. Drink 3, 4, 5, another round of shots. Then she starts buying my drinks. Awesome! When a girl does that she goes up a little in my book.

My kino is so freaking slow with her. I have noticed when I am out with a girl for the first time I take a while to kino. But when I started I escalated quickly. We danced a little and my hand quickly wraps around her throat from behind. Do it right and she can’t help but to love it. I don’t know why but they do. I spin her around and we have the most minor kiss in the world before she pushes me off. She tells me she doesn’t like PDA. A few minutes later she tells me she is ready to go back to my place. I then mention we should go get in the hot tub and she agrees. I head up to the bar to close my tab and she does the same. While the bartender is ringing us out I grab a handful of hair and we start making out like no one else in the bar exists. I look down at my watch and realize it is only Midnight and I am loaded.

Thankfully PP agrees to give us a ride home instead of us taking a cab. Thanks bud I appreciate it. We walk out to valet and get his car. I tell the girls they can sit in the back. Now yeah I could have sat in the back with my girl and escalated more but it wasn’t necessary. The ball was already rolling in the proper direction with enough momentum.

We get back to my house I pour us all drinks and next thing I know this girl is dragging me back to my bedroom. We start messing around and she finds herself thrown against the wall in rapid fashion. Then bam outta nowhere she pushes me off her and goes:

HB: I am not having sex with you tonight!
PC: That is fine we can cuddle and make out a little.
HB: Alright I just wanted to get that out of the way now.
HB: So are you ready to get into the hot tub?

These girls are so hilarious. Every time I have heard those words I have gotten laid. It is almost as if they are saying yep we are getting naked later. Silly Women.

We head back out to the living room and wait for the hot tub to heat up. PP and his girl are chilling and I am playing guitar hero. At some point PP and his girl leave and we head out to the hot tub. This is the point that I see an amazing ass and have to bite my lip over her hotness. I am an ass and stomach man and I will say this girl takes the cake on the entire year of ass. Yeah it is amazingly good.

I love hot tubs. I swear they are the magical pill for getting girls naked. A trigger goes off in their heads that says hrmm…I shouldn’t have clothes on. Things escalate quick and we are both naked after a few minutes. She gives some LMR but eventually I am trying to insert my penis into her vagina. I don’t know about you guys but when I nail a girl in the hot tub it seems to have a hard time going in. It is almost as if it skids while going in instead of just sliding right in. It is rather annoying. But with this girl it just won’t budge and I don’t feel like fucking my dick up trying. We exit the tub and head to my room. We get to my room and here is where things go south.

This girl is all over me. I love aggressive women. But nothing. I cannot get hard to save my fucking life. I mean I am looking at this girl and thinking holy shit I am about to hit that and I still can’t get hard. She starts blowing me and I still can’t get hard. I am freaking out and frankly I couldn’t sleep much since I was mind fucked over this. I mean the whole night I am looking at her ass and freaking out. It is so choice. WTF!!

So there you have it. She just dropped me off at Finn and I came home to write this as I figured you guys would get a good laugh at my homoness. I wouldn’t be surprised if this girl never talked to me again. Hopefully she will just think it was the alcohol and frankly I hope that is the case. Thank god I was hard in the tub otherwise I would be off the wall freaking out.

I am sitting here upset with myself. How is it possible that I have written something on average every 2 or 3 days yet here it is and one month has passed without me writing anything. Now sure I haven’t been in the mood lately to write but come on. You just don’t be this avid about keeping a journal for nearly a year and then bam just stop.

I want to write but nothing has really popped into my head to write about. And I will admit some of the stuff I could write about I haven’t just in case my ex reads this someday. Yes I am being a homo and keeping some stuff out just to be safe. And so what if she reads this and questions me down the road as to what I omitted? Now does that make any sense coming from someone who wants to protect himself or her. Nope sure doesn’t so why leave anything out? Good question

I was trying to teach myself how to play Fur Elise on piano. Well not a piano I don’t own one yet but a keyboard. I have no idea how to read sheet music but I taught myself this song about 5 years ago in 12 days. It is definitely coming easier this time around. I am trying to talk myself into buying a piano if a deal goes through in the near future that will give me some cash. The thought of dropping 15k in one plump though is a little scary. If I do decide to buy one I want to be able to play one song so I can test out the piano and make sure it sounds good. So I will probably devote the next few days to learning this song again. Plus it’s cool to sit down at a piano and bust out a cool song like this.

So in regards to game I have definitely without a doubt hit a plateau. I don’t think I have advanced in probably 2-3 months. When you want something really bad the typical person goes out and tries to achieve it. I used to feel this way about game. I wanted to be amazing at it. I wanted to walk into any venue and destroy the room. And yes I still want that it just isn’t as important as it used to be. My results speak for themselves and so I sit here extremely complacent. I want more but I am not sure I am willing to devote the time and energy to achieve it.

This past Saturday I number closed 4 girls. It feels good when this happens and after initial texts all 4 later in the week were receptive. I would call these all strong number closes. The point of me mentioning this is that I think the aftermath is where I currently lack skill and devotion. I am sorta chuckling to myself wondering how have I gotten laid so much this year. I feel like a complete noob dork right now. It is as if I have no idea how to get these girls out with me. Should I call? Should I text? What do I say? How do I ask them out? How can I build comfort over text? If I call how do I keep a conversation going? What if it goes to voicemail what do I do?

Hahhahahahahahhahaha

You stupid ass homo!

You have been doing this for damn near a year now. How do you not know what you are doing.

I wish I would have kept track of all the numbers I have deleted this year. I would wager it to be around 200-300 just based on the number of nights out and the fact that most nights consisted of 1 or 2+ numbers. Some of these were numbers that I just got…well just because. Some were girls that I wouldn’t mind fucking but I really had no interest in actually taking them out anywhere. And then some were actually girls that I wouldn’t mind taking out. So the first and second set were almost automatic deletion the next day. The last set were girls that I actually tried to get out. But you know what. Most of those girls if they put any sorta hesitation I would just delete them too. See if it was any amount of work then I wanted no part of it. I am the prize don’t they know this? The answer is nope they sure don’t.

So minus the SNL’s and the sure things I am left with a handful, well bagful of numbers that I could have had awesome practice with. But instead I just chose to delete them as I knew I would get more numbers the next time out. This was probably a mistake on my part.