I am sitting here upset with myself. How is it possible that I have written something on average every 2 or 3 days yet here it is and one month has passed without me writing anything. Now sure I haven’t been in the mood lately to write but come on. You just don’t be this avid about keeping a journal for nearly a year and then bam just stop.
I want to write but nothing has really popped into my head to write about. And I will admit some of the stuff I could write about I haven’t just in case my ex reads this someday. Yes I am being a homo and keeping some stuff out just to be safe. And so what if she reads this and questions me down the road as to what I omitted? Now does that make any sense coming from someone who wants to protect himself or her. Nope sure doesn’t so why leave anything out? Good question
I was trying to teach myself how to play Fur Elise on piano. Well not a piano I don’t own one yet but a keyboard. I have no idea how to read sheet music but I taught myself this song about 5 years ago in 12 days. It is definitely coming easier this time around. I am trying to talk myself into buying a piano if a deal goes through in the near future that will give me some cash. The thought of dropping 15k in one plump though is a little scary. If I do decide to buy one I want to be able to play one song so I can test out the piano and make sure it sounds good. So I will probably devote the next few days to learning this song again. Plus it’s cool to sit down at a piano and bust out a cool song like this.
So in regards to game I have definitely without a doubt hit a plateau. I don’t think I have advanced in probably 2-3 months. When you want something really bad the typical person goes out and tries to achieve it. I used to feel this way about game. I wanted to be amazing at it. I wanted to walk into any venue and destroy the room. And yes I still want that it just isn’t as important as it used to be. My results speak for themselves and so I sit here extremely complacent. I want more but I am not sure I am willing to devote the time and energy to achieve it.
This past Saturday I number closed 4 girls. It feels good when this happens and after initial texts all 4 later in the week were receptive. I would call these all strong number closes. The point of me mentioning this is that I think the aftermath is where I currently lack skill and devotion. I am sorta chuckling to myself wondering how have I gotten laid so much this year. I feel like a complete noob dork right now. It is as if I have no idea how to get these girls out with me. Should I call? Should I text? What do I say? How do I ask them out? How can I build comfort over text? If I call how do I keep a conversation going? What if it goes to voicemail what do I do?
Hahhahahahahahhahaha
You stupid ass homo!
You have been doing this for damn near a year now. How do you not know what you are doing.
I wish I would have kept track of all the numbers I have deleted this year. I would wager it to be around 200-300 just based on the number of nights out and the fact that most nights consisted of 1 or 2+ numbers. Some of these were numbers that I just got…well just because. Some were girls that I wouldn’t mind fucking but I really had no interest in actually taking them out anywhere. And then some were actually girls that I wouldn’t mind taking out. So the first and second set were almost automatic deletion the next day. The last set were girls that I actually tried to get out. But you know what. Most of those girls if they put any sorta hesitation I would just delete them too. See if it was any amount of work then I wanted no part of it. I am the prize don’t they know this? The answer is nope they sure don’t.
So minus the SNL’s and the sure things I am left with a handful, well bagful of numbers that I could have had awesome practice with. But instead I just chose to delete them as I knew I would get more numbers the next time out. This was probably a mistake on my part.