So my last post I basically put on paper what I was upset about. I have been going back and forth with myself today if I even wanted to go out this evening. Being Friday night and all it is just habit that on this night of the week it is a guarantee that you go somewhere. For reasons of which I am not entirely clear the ambition to do this is lacking. But after debating the pros and cons for a good few hours I have decided I should go out and mingle.

Now the question is will I actually mingle? Or will I just sit around like lump on a log and go into AFC mannerism mode.

That is where this post comes in. I guess I feel like if I jot this down and make it public I will be held accountable. I will have no choice but to come back home and write my results of the evening.

So what does that mean exactly.

It means if I see a hot girl (Well we are going to Lower Greenville the odds of that are actually quite slim) that I will approach without hesitation. And seeing what I put in parentheses means that it will be even rarer and possible harder. She will be a swan amongst ducklings.

It means that I will be more social and act accordingly with the average HB7. I feel like last weekend I was socially awkward. How the fuck is that possible after a year in the game. How do you revert back to the AFC days and lose everything you learned? Things like a simple conversation seemed to be hard to put together. Wow

It means I will not get drunk. I look back at some of the times I have been drunk. Now on occasion even while being drunk I have done well. In fact I have done very well being drunk. But when you are sober you think about most of the times and you probably come off as a retard. Any girl who is not tipsy or drunk will probably want you to leave immediately upon your approach. She will think you are a boozer and a loser. And it might just be the girl whom I would most likely want to get to know is the one who is actually sober and not a bar fly whore.

It means I will not worry about outcome. Lately I have been noticing I really care about the outcome. Not so much in worrying about if I will be successful. But worrying about if I am not successful. It is almost as if I am worried because I will have to be in a small confined area with a girl who just shot me down. I am always so worried about what others think of me. And these people are complete strangers that I will probably never see again. I can count on both hands how many times I have ran into the same person twice. It almost never happens. Almost never and I used to go out 4 times a week. So with that said I need to erase fear, rejection, and worry out of my mind.

And lastly this means. I am a very confident person. I believe everyone should think confidently and it will portray good things about yourself. But last weekend I was a little too confident. I felt like I owned the world and was going to pull an SNL. Now this just flew out of my head while drinking and bullshitting with the guys. Normally I would say think this to yourself. Hell I used to never leave the house without a condom in my pocket. It was just positive reinforcement. But now I don’t think I will think such crazy things. I will be and act confident and let the chips fall where they may. If I pull an SNL fine. If I get a number fine. If I bounce a girl to a different venue fine. If I don’t get a number at all and get shot down fine. If I don’t open the hotties whom I am really interested in…Well that isn’t fine.

I invent nothing, I rediscover…

This entry was posted on Friday, February 13th, 2009 at 10:53 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.