Holy Fucking Shit!

I can’t believe I have done this for one entire year. I have made over 100 posts on this blog. That is pretty remarkable in and of itself. I am thrilled I have stuck to something this long. I usually get bored and move on. It is easy to stick to something you love though.

I absolutely love the community. So much has happened in this past year. I couldn’t even imagine what life would be like without stumbling upon it. It is daunting even thinking what if I never found it. I can’t think what life would be like. I can tell you it would not be this good. It just isn’t possible. And not because I am awesome at game or anything. In fact I really am not great by any means. It is so much more than actually running game. To think how I handle myself on Dates and when I am alone with a girl. What I say and how I say it. My appearance. I could seriously just go on and on how much better of a person I am now because of what I have learned. So let me say this again. I love the community.

Reflection is the key to success. That is why I so highly recommend anyone new to the game keep some sort of journal. Write about your early Field Reports. Write about what crosses your mind. Jot down questions you need answers to. Write down your goals. Write anything. You will thank yourself down the road. And I am going to say I didn’t write about everything I should have. There are so many other things I should have written in the past year. Things that would pop into my head that were important only to later forget them. I would be so thankful if I could read those right now. And then all of the Field Reports I should have just written up. I know it gets a little overkill to write about each and every outing but you know what. FUCK YOU! Who gives a shit about you. I should have written them for me.

While I have been in the game for a year now I guess the thought started just a tad earlier. A few months prior to my involvement I was in a relationship for about 3 years. Towards the end of that relationship a show known as The Pickup Artist aired on VH1. I was watching one of the episodes with the ex and I thought the stuff they were doing was just hilarious. I believed in what they were doing and told her if you ever break up with me I am going to do that. She just laughed at me and said that stuff would never work on her. Little Did She Know…

And a few months later we were done. She had enough of my non committing ways and left me. Looking back I actually thank her for this. Without her leaving me I would not have been able to become who I was destined to be.

After the break up I was depressed for the first time in my life. My functioning ability was very limited. I stopped every project I had going. My income suffered but I didn’t care. I found a cure for the short term and this was reading. I devoured The Game, message boards, online blogs, etc. I coped through the words of others. Somehow this made me feel better. It was then that I knew I would keep my own online journal as maybe it would serve someone else the way others had served me.

I went shopping for new clothes. I must have bought a few pairs of jeans and at least a dozen new shirts right away. I was going to make the new me. The me that should have always wanted to look styling but was always complacent since I already had the girl. I went and got a haircut where as I used to just wear my hair down so I could be lazy and not have to worry about fixing it. I already had the girl before what did I care. (Lesson #1: You should always be trying to impress whomever you are with)

With my new style I started doing something I had never done before. I started going out to the bars, drinking, and talking to pretty much every girl I could see in my vision. All the sudden I was the guy who was friendly. The guy who would approach a girl or group and somehow carry a conversation? I was reborn into someone I had never been. And for this you can thank that little concoction known as Crown Royal. I had quick success using my new found skill set and there is no doubt this boosted my ego and inner game. I was starting to go from Depressed to on top of the world.

I will leave you guys with some wisdom. This might only be relevant to the newer guys.

When you first start off in this game be social. Yes talk to the girls who aren’t that attractive. Hell maybe you should even sleep with some of them. The first girl I slept with in the game was attractive in the face but not that great body wise. I would give her a 6 rating. But it was success. I am a firm believer that success breeds success. Before this I got a BJ from a girl who I would give a 5 rating to. She was decent in the face but a bit on the heavier side. After these girls it just seemed like the girls I started to get gradually were better and better. I moved to some 7’s and then 8’s and so on and so forth. What was happening was two things. First I was getting better at game overall. Then I was getting better at being with these women on dates and alone. Here is what I am really getting at though and I want to make this very clear so I will spell it out for you.

I N N E R G A M E: In my opinion it is the most crucial aspect of game. It just plays a part in everything. You want to get good at the bar? Well you better get this down. You want to get good at interacting with a girl when you are alone? Well you better get this down. I could go on and on about this. It will not happen right away. It is a process. It will get better and better with time and success.

My wing though was only good for one night out a week and possibly the occasional two nights out but that was rare. I was addicted to this and yearned for more. It was then that I knew I needed to reach out to the community and find some like minded individuals.

Start of a beautiful relationship…

Thanks to Vector there was an avenue that I could meet others. After a couple months of posting on Dallaslair.org in February I went to one of the meet ups. I was very nervous about this. Who are these other guys? What are they like? They aren’t a bunch of weirdo freaks are they. A million questions rambled through my brain. I knew though if I was to get really good at game and get the results I craved I needed to take this step. I went to the meeting and it was the best decision I had made in a long time. And in regards to game it was the absolute best decision you can make. But what was the absolute best thing about this meeting was I met some other guys who were decent. Guys who would eventually become friends.

I realized success early on and quickly built my first harem. Yes a harem. I was getting laid every day by many different women. I told everyone of them I had no interest in a relationship and this made them attracted to me even more. Girls were calling and texting me saying crazy sexual stuff. I was turning down booty calls. Things I could only have dreamed of before were now reality. For a month or two I don’t remember sleeping alone. This was the second way I coped with not having the ex. In fact I can remember just going and staying the night at these girls houses just for the hell of it. I still wasn’t over her.

At first I was not pulling the hottest girls. In fact most of the girls I pulled I probably would not bring them out to any of the meetings or strut them in front of you guys. Well maybe a couple but still. As long as they had a pretty good body and were good in bed they were good enough. And as long as I was shagging them I really didn’t think too much about the ex. In fact I was starting to fall in love with my new found lifestyle. In my more adult years I had always craved this lifestyle in the back of my head. It seemed good and fun and something I wanted to do but I had no idea how. And on top of this making money was always more important. But now I was living this lifestyle. Could this really be my life?

And with this my responsibilities suffered. I couldn’t figure out how to handle all of this. I was going out at least 3 nights a week to sarge but usually more. I was spending a shit load of time servicing these women. Something had to give. And it did. I started neglecting hanging out with my family and parents. I rarely saw my friends who were not part of the community. They were off doing their own things anyways but I didn’t try hard to make time for them. My house that I am remodeling for myself took an entire year longer to finish than I had intended. My work suffered. In fact this past year has been my worse year in a while financially. I only made about 60% of what I did last year…OUCH!

I don’t remember exactly but 4 or 5 months after the break up I built a myspace page. I figured maybe this will be another tool for attracting women. Even though I used to think it was so gay now I embraced it. Then something that blew my mind happened. A day or two after making my page the ex found it and messaged me. I was flabbergasted. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had just nailed some hottie and was messing around in my room (Pretty sure Lion and I pulled SNL’s). I got on the computer and noticed I had a message. I almost jumped out of my seat. When I say my body was a little antsy almost shivering that would be a pretty good description. It was as if I was about to give a speech in front of a 1000 people. Lion was in the other room so of course I busted in and consulted him at like 4:00 AM. Since he is a pro at myspace game I listened to every word out of his mouth and took his advice.

Eventually her and I agreed on a lunch date that I framed she would pay for. It had been at least 4 months without us saying one word to each other. I won’t bore you with the details but I will say this. Knowing game I was able to win her back. Not only that, it was all on my terms that she accepted. I had played it beautifully. I won.

So now I had the best of both worlds. I had the girl who broke my heart, which I was still in love with back. But I also still had my harem. I still had the luxury of going out and meeting new women. And she was right there anytime I wanted her. I was in hog heaven.

Our relationship was actually the best it had been in at least one year. We didn’t fight or argue. Things were pretty perfect. Well until I start getting into her head. I leak that I fucked a girl only hours after fucking her. I leaked that some girl blew me in the other room not 10 feet away from her. Combined with the fact that she knew I was fucking at least 2 other girls this just didn’t bode well for her. She started freaking out and things were on and off again for the next few months. Once again I couldn’t find it in myself to commit and this eventually led to our ultimate undoing.

At some point during this summer I feel that I hit a plateau. It was as if I peaked and then just sort of stayed there. Now this was fine and dandy but it did start to get boring. I needed some sort of change but I couldn’t figure out how to change my game. So that left my style. I pretty much credit Lion with my style progression. He seemed to always be wearing crazy shit which lead to good results. I would say I was always one step behind him in this regard and maybe just a bit tamer. I experimented with everything from bandannas to bracelets to rings. All served their purpose but I later found out was unnecessary.

During this period I started seeing my greatest results with women. I started pulling the hottest girls of my life. Girls many would consider dime pieces. My appearance started to change. My hairstyle was getting good. I started sporting ties which I highly recommend to anyone. Make it a full Windsor Knot and you will see the best results. Girls like big knots. And eventually I busted out the Mohawk which created the new greatest results of my life.

Currently I am dating the hottest, most competent, successful, has her shit together girl of my life. I credit everything to game. Without it I wouldn’t have the inner game to compete with her. She is a tough cookie which makes her even more attractive. Some of the shit I have gone through with her if I didn’t know about the game she would be long gone. She constantly shit tests me and I would have failed all of them. It would have been a miserable disaster. Knowing how to build attraction with her I would have had no clue. The truth is I wouldn’t have even approached her to begin with. Even now I am sort of amazed I did approach her. She shit tested me so hardcore that night. The old me would have just turned around walked off even if I did open her.

When you have been in this long enough you realize game is not about lines and routines. Game is about becoming the best version YOU. It is about getting your shit together. Your life together. Your look together. Your inner game together. Your demeanor. The way you walk, talk, look, and act. It’s about how you hold yourself together in tough situations. Times when you don’t have the upper hand and still come out on top. It’s about your confidence and how girls pick up on this. It’s about your sense of entitlement but not coming off as brash. It’s about knowing that you deserve what you want and not stopping until you achieve it.

DON’T FUCKING SETTLE!!!

If I had to sum up the year though I would go right back to the community. The guys I have had the Pleasure…no the Privilege to of met and know. Without this group of guys I would be lost.

Thank You…

Holy Shit!

I have met my match. This girl is just like me. It is as if she is running reverse game on me.

Statements she has made:

I am trying really hard not to like you.

I have no interest in a relationship.

WHAT!!!!!!

Who taught you?

This girl knows how to make a guy chase her. She is a pro at it. I have to struggle not to fall into her little trap. And I must say it is extremely difficult. Not because she is running some type of game, but just because she is so badass.

I am so glad I hung out with her last night. I learned so much more about this girl that I needed to know. I called her out on several things.

I told her we were going to butt heads because we were just alike. I told her she had walls up to protect herself. I told her I would love to know the real her. She didn’t want to hear any of this. She almost curled up into a little ball she was so shy about these statements. Well really just the one about the walls.

She is so freaking stubborn. I mean seriously turn me into a girl and I am her. It is uncanny. I can see it now. She and I will have the most knock out drag you through the mud arguments. I can see this girl throwing punches. I don’t know why but I almost look forward to our future fights.

She is just as passive as I am. She will try to set up future meetings when we are hanging out. But if she is just by herself the chance of her calling me up wanting to hang out is very slim. I am going to have to force myself to be the aggressor with this girl. I just need to make sure to space the days out so I don’t look too needy. She wants me to be needy. She wants me to chase. She is used to it. It is all she knows.

I wish I could figure out how to make her chase. But with her current mindset of not wanting to get close to anyone I don’t see that happening for a while. I have to figure out how to put some cracks in her walls or knock a few down. Then I can see her chasing. Her entire mindset and thought process will surely change.

Only time will bring this. And until then I will enjoy the pursuit.

When I first got into game I told myself I wanted to be single for a year. And I have done that this entire year. In fact I haven’t even found anyone worthy of settling down with so it was actually pretty easy.

I like this one…

One thing that I think has been helping me lately with girls is adding them to myspace. So over text I will open a previous number close and at some early point ask if they have myspace. Most of the time they do and I will wait a few hours and add them.

I absolutely love doing this and highly recommend it. The reasons are simple but I will explain my case anyways.

For one I get to see them again (My memory is usually a little hazy from the drunken night before). I can rattle through their page, glance at some pictures, read a little about them, etc etc. But it is a two way street here. She can do the same thing. So before you go and take my advice understand you need a good myspace page. You should have some good pictures of yourself, ones with you and your friends, and ones with you and girls. This is very important. You need to paint a good picture of yourself. I don’t have the best page but mine is good enough.

Secondly psychologically speaking I think this does something to her head. I think she says ahh alright I am friends with this guy. I have gone to his page and learned a little about him. So right off the bat I think she feels a little more comfortable with you. There may be an added sense of security, possible added attraction, and her feeling closer to you.

I will continue to do this in the future. I feel pretty strongly about it and can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.

I sometimes forget to remind myself to do this but it is Ohhh Sooo Important. When you are introduced or introduce yourself to a girl squeeze the shit out of her hand. Not so much that it will really hurt her or anything. But just enough that she mentions it for one. And for two so she doesn’t think you are a homo. Nowadays girls are squeezing my hand harder and harder. I don’t know if this is because they want to prove something to the guy with the hawk. Or if it is just that day of age when girls are much more independent and shake hands like a guy.

Common courtesy dictates that you squeeze as hard as the person you are shaking hands with. It should be a medium amount of pressure not so much that you cause any harm to your shaking counterpart. We have all met those guys who must squeeze the shit out of your hand to prove they are dominant. If anything they are the actual homos out there. An Alpha Male would never have to prove dominance with an overpowering handshake.

Back to the point at hand. I can’t tell you how many times I have squeezed a girls hand very hard only to hear her say something. Bam instant conversation off into la la land that is away from the boring mundane conversation topics. This usually creates a good time with the girl. Now I have been guilty especially lately of not taking my own advice. That is what has brought this to my attention and I felt worthy of being dictated. Last night I shook a lot of hands. And a shit load of the girls were applying an extra amount of force to my hand during the shake. Of course I negged them on it but it was actually a DLV to me I believe. I think they do it on purpose to see who is weak and who is strong. It is their instant off the bat measure of a man.

Why give them anything negative to use against you when they are measuring you up.

I wish the title of this entry meant that I was done with Game and moving on with an Amazing Girl. Unfortunately it is probably the end of a chapter in my life. One that has lasted about 1/8th of my life and a huge percentage of what I would call my adult life. It is the relationship with my ex that has lasted the culmination of the last four years. The first three we were together and inseparable. The last year consisted of on again off again type of relationship.

Our last couple months we had decided to get back together and date with certain rules in place. We both had an interest of seeing other people so this was allowed. We could date someone else but the dating could not progress to sex. I was at a point in my life that I was sort of done with game for a while so I agreed to this. The problem is in my head I never committed to the idea of not having sex with another girl. It was pretty fucking shitty of me to agree to this and lead her on. I believe in Karma so I wouldn’t be surprised if it bit me in the ass. The second problem with this is lately girls are just falling into my lap. It just seems that ever since I got this Mohawk I have been pulling the hottest girls of my life. And the quantity is right up there with the start of the year. The only difference is all these girls are pretty smoking hot.

I knew this conversation was going to take place. I had been thinking how I was going to handle it and knew I must act quickly if it was going to happen on my terms. Then out of the blue not under my own terms my phone rings. I have two options here. I can just send it to voicemail and handle it later. Or I can go ahead and face it head on and handle it right then. In my life I have learned many things. One thing is to just tackle stuff head on. The longer you let it linger the more you think about it and it just messes stuff up. Your head gets wrapped about it and you can’t focus on anything else.

Ring Ring…

PC: Hello
EX: So are you ignoring me?
PC: Nope

At this point I am just letting silence creep in. I want her to lead the conversation.

Silence

EX: So I just have one question to ask you.
PC: Alright
EX: Are you seeing someone else?

I pause here and think about how to handle this. Then I just know I need to be honest about this. It sucks because honesty brings about hurt feelings. Right here I know just how bad I am about to hurt someone I care greatly for.

PC: Yes
EX: That is what I thought.
EX: Have you slept with her?

Once again I go silent for about 10 seconds. A see-saw is going off in my head of yes or no. Fuck! I have to be honest. I have lived this entire year just being straight up with every girl no matter what the consequence.

PC: Yes

I won’t talk anymore about what was said after that answer.

When I was younger I had a girlfriend for like 5 years. I mean the relationship lasted forever. In fact I went out with her for my entire college career (What a Waste). I had such a hard time leaving this girl but in the end I realized something. I realized that by me stringing things along I was hurting her. So one day I set her free. I knew for a fact I had no interest in marrying her so while she was young I would send her on her way.

Right now I am going through something very similar. There is one thing slightly (Hugely) different. The EX now I think I could marry someday. In fact I think this so much that I could seriously be making the biggest mistake of my life right now. I just can’t find it in myself to settle down though. And if I am not 100% set on the idea of settling down I can’t do it. So once again I am letting her go. Yes she is mad as hell and doesn’t want anything to do with me but that will pass. If I wanted her back in a week or so I could probably have her. But I am not going to do that. I need to be the one chasing her. I need to be the one that can’t live without her. And until that time comes (If it ever does) I will do everything in my power to get her back.

It is amazing I am writing this right now. If I had her in my lap a year ago I would have been so happy. I have had the opportunity to have her back so many times this year and I chose no. I am going to keep her at a distance for a while and see what my thoughts are like. Who knows I might have cravings and realize I fucked up. If that is the case then I will hope and pray that she is still single and gives me another chance. It would seem she has given me so many chances and I squander them.

Only time will tell and that is how this will work out. Time will pass and either my feelings will grow stronger or weaker.

I don’t know the future I can only act in the present.